His Fallen Angel
by blazingbrown
Summary: "They tell me I have a beautiful smile, I am still waiting for the day someone would tell me my scars are beautiful." Bella had long forgotten what it felt to smile. At the age of 20 she had suffered more trauma than anyone ever should in a lifetime. Can Edward save the fallen angel. Is his love enough to help her, or would he just end up destroying her more in the process?
1. Prologue

***Disclaimer: This story has some graphic scenes which some may find offensive.**

 **BPOV**

"Bella, sweet Be-ll-a... come out, come out, sweetheart." His voice is slurring. I can hear his boots as he stomps around the house, searching for me. I know he will find me. And I will be punished. But I hide anyway, hoping he won't find me.

"There you are, my little one," he says as he drags me out of the cupboard I am hiding in.

I close my eyes as he pushes me onto the bed and pulls off my clothes with his rough hands. I don't dare to make a sound. He likes it when I am quiet. If I am quiet, he won't hurt me. Not more than usual, at least.

Soon, I hear the familiar sound of his zipper and I can't help the small scream as he pushes himself in. It just hurts so bad. No, I shouldn't have screamed. I shouldn't have... I start to apologize but…

Smack. "Quiet bitch, shut up and take it!" He punctures each word with a thrust. I bite my tongue to stop from screaming out again as the pain becomes too much to handle. I refuse to cry. It will just excite him more.

Suddenly he pulls out and forces his cock into my mouth. I almost choke at the sudden invasion.

"Come on, take it all, girl. Take it all like a good slut. If you bite me like last time, it's your funeral," he growls. And soon his grunts of pleasure fill my ears. He twists my hair in his hands tightly as he uses me.

"Fuck, take it all bitch," he grunts. "Finish me off properly or…" He doesn't have to complete that: I know what would happen if he isn't satisfied.

I try my best to take it all in. I can't breathe now, but he doesn't relent. In fact he's enjoying my struggle. It adds to his pleasure to see me suffer. I gag and am rewarded with a slap on my cheek.

"You little slut," he growls as he once more thrusts into my mouth. I moan, begging for reprieve. That earns me another smack. This time on my thigh.

"Finish me off," he grunts.

His thrusts become more forceful and then he starts coming in my mouth. "Swallow it, bitch. Swallow every single drop." He shouts as he continues to squirt his cum into my mouth. He watches, ensuring I take it all. I don't dare show the revulsion I feel on my face. I close my eyes and swallow it, struggling to not spit it out.

Once he is done, he pushes me away like trash. I wait silently, praying that he is done for the night.

But no, he is just beginning. His hands are on my pussy. Invasive. Painful. "Fuck, I almost came inside you tonight." He looks at me with a gleam in his eyes. That look always makes me feel dirty. Makes my body repulsive to myself.

"Soon, Bella. Soon this little pussy will take my cum. One day soon I am gonna breed you, my little Bella. Once you are eighteen, I am going to get you with my seed, and then you will be stuck here, just for my pleasure, for your whole life. I am gonna make you my little bitch. My little sex slave," my step father says as his fingers continue the assault. His smile is sickening.

I will never escape from this monster. I already know that. But the thought of having his child… the thought itself creates fits of terror in me. I can feel myself shaking. No, not a child! I can't breathe. A lifetime of this. No, I just can't. Not anymore. Anything but a child. I can't help the small whimper which escapes from my mouth. I am scared. I am just so scared.

"Huh, what's that? You don't approve of my plans for our future?" His voice is once again harsh. I know what's coming. "Well, I don't need your approval, you slut." His hands are in my hair once more. I try to hold in the scream.

"I have told you that I don't like to crossed, Bella," he says. "You have been a bad girl. And bad girls have to be punished." he says, hands taking hold of my breasts and pinching my nipples until I can't hold back the screams anymore.

"Go take your position," he commands.

I scrabble to take my position facing the wall, my ass exposed to him for punishment. Each second I lag adds an extra welt.

"Good girl, count with me now," he says and the belt hits my back almost immediately. I don't cry out loud. It will just make him angrier.

"One," I shout instead.

And so it continues till his hands ache and then he leaves me there with a promise to come back the next night. I wait for the door to slam shut.

Only then do I collapse on to the floor. And only then do I let my tears fall.

At last I get up and make my way to the bathroom. I pull on the usual top I use for the ritual. It used to be white, but now it has red stains across it everywhere.

I slowly take out the things I need and sit cross-legged on the floor. The tiles feel cold. My back and ass hurt, but I don't care.

The razor is sharp. I can't help smiling as the blood oozes out of my veins. My hand is so beautiful, covered in ribbons of red. Another scar to match the rest on my body. As I watch the blood flow freely, I can feel the pain starting to numb me. But then I remember his promise of getting me pregnant. No. No. I am not going to allow it. I would rather die.

Die. I look at the blood on my hands. The flow has reduced. It's just a small cut. I look at the razor. Sharp.

I can't help the hysterical laughter as moments later, the blood splutters everywhere. He is not going to have me anymore. I win. He will never get me now. I laugh out loud. I laugh at the world. I laugh at God. I laugh at myself. I laugh till I fade away.

 ***So, I redid the chapter. With a lot of help from my new beta. Thank you for all your help Fantasy0506. I can feel it that we are going to make a great team.**


	2. New Beginning

Hi! My name is Alice! I am your roommate!"

I managed to put on a small smile for the little pixie who was beaming at me.

"I'm Isabella," I replied. I looked around at the place I would be calling home for the next two years. Alice was kind enough to point me to my room.

The smile slid off my face as soon as the door closed behind her. Years ago, if someone had told me that I would be free like this, I would have laughed in their faces. Some days, I still found it difficult to believe that I was free of the monster. Laurent was no longer in my life. My evil stepfather was dead.

I still had nightmares about that night. I had thought it was all over. I thought I had died. But no, she had saved me. My mother. She had shot my stepfather and called the ambulance.

Mom had been sick as long as I could remember. Sick as in mad and crazy. She had never once stopped Laurent from abusing me. Not until that night. I don't know what made her shoot Laurent that night. Did she at last grow a heart? Was it even me who prompted her to shoot him? Or was it something else?

I would never know. After she called 911, she shot herself. The paramedics had come into the house to find two dead bodies and a girl who was almost dead.

Two years, in and out of therapy, they had certified me normal. Yes, I guess one could say I was normal on the outside. The scars on my skin had faded, but the scars inside were still prominent. Those were just too deep and painful to ever fade away.

In the two years, I had managed to get myself a scholarship. I had always been a good student, until Laurent had forced me to drop out of school. But that's my past now. University of Chicago. That was my present. I was gonna make it in this ugly world.

I began to unpack my stuff. The room was good enough - small, but still cosy. Not a bad way to begin a new life, a life far away from my mom and Laurent and a million ugly memories. A life far away from Seattle.

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I had just finished unpacking and tidying when the doorbell rang. I moved to the sitting room to see who it was. Alice had already opened the door and seemed to be talking to the newcomer. There, standing before me, was the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of green, his lips curved in a crooked smile. I saw him hug Alice. Must be her boyfriend.

Alice saw me standing awkwardly and moved to make introductions. "Isabella, this is my brother, Edward Cullen. Edward, meet my new roommate, Isabella Swan."

He extended his hand and I slowly took it and shook. There was something mesmerizing about him.

"Isabella, such a sweet name," he said with a smile which was meant to melt every girl in the vicinity to a puddle of goo.

I waited for the panic to rise as he held my hands firmly in his. It was pathetic. I couldn't even have a normal handshake with someone from the opposite sex without the fear of a full blown panic attack. Back in the hospital, even the touch of a male doctor had send me into panic attacks. But then, those days were of the past… then, everything and anything used to bring back memories of _him._ Any touch, any action, any thought which reminded me of _him_ made me shrink away in fear. But Edward's touch seemed to be fine. At least, his wasn't making me as tense as I should have been be by now. It felt reassuring – almost. Somehow it didn't feel as dirty as other men's touch.

I looked at him once more, standing before me, all handsome and perfect. And looked at myself, with all my scars and burns. Just one of the many reasons that I will never ever be good enough for a guy like him.

"Edward, no! She is my roommate. You can't flirt with her," Alice said, pulling my hand away from his.

"Hey, that's her choice, Alice." He said, his eyes never leaving mine. What do you say, baby? I have my bike downstairs. Care to go for a spin? I promise you, it will be fun." He winked at me.

I knew that he was asking me for more than an innocent bike ride. I couldn't help the revulsion building up in me. He just proved it once more. Sex. That's all they wanted. All of his kind. They just saw a girl as an object to sate their desires. Nothing more.

"I would rather die," I spat at him and stomped back to my room, angry at myself for getting side-tracked for even a second. I was not here to make friends or hook up with assholes. I was here to study. My aim was to graduate. To get a degree, to show _him_ that I was more than a piece of meat.

I took a deep breath and opened my books. Classes were only to begin next week, but I was planning to start studying ahead.

About ten minutes later, there was a knock on my door. Alice came inside, shuffling nervously as I opened the door.

"I am so sorry for my brother's behaviour. He can be an asshole. I really hope his words won't affect our friendship," she said.

"It's OK," I replied and smiled to show her that all was fine, but she didn't look very convinced.

"Look, I will be open with you. Edward is really not good person, well, at least, not anymore. I do love my brother, but he is not in a good place at the moment. Not since our mother's death.

'He had a huge fight with Dad about six months ago, dropped out of college and left home. Since then, he has been hanging out with some shady people. I don't like it, but he won't listen to me. You seem like a good girl. Please stay away from him. My brother has a reputation as a man whore." Alice stopped with a sad smile.

I blinked, surprised by her frankness. We had spoken all but five sentences to each other and she just poured her heart out to me. (love this! Thanks!)

"Why was he here?" I asked at last.

"As I said, he does love me. I am the only person he has contact with in the family. I wasn't allowed to see him, but still I used to sneak away to see him once in a while. And now that I am in college, he stays around to be near me," Alice said, her face sad.

"It's fine. You don't have to worry about me falling for your brother. As you said, he seems to be an asshole. And I am not looking for a love life right now," I said.

She smiled at me. "Hmm... ok, then," she was still looking around nervously.

"Is there anything else?" I asked.

"Well, Isabella is a sweet name, but can I call you Bella for short? It's easier," she said.

 _Bella._ Nobody had called me that in two years. The last person who called me that was my mother. _Kneeling beside me with the gun still in her hand, my stepfather dead in the next room. I had been floating away, but her voice had pulled me back, just for a second._

Had there been regret in her face? I wondered. I hated that I couldn't figure out why she saved me.

I looked up and saw Alice was still waiting for an answer. "Sure, go ahead," I said.

"Great! I just know that we are going to be the best of friends!" Alice was beaming and before I knew it, the little pixie was hugging me. I slowly, awkwardly, wrapped my arms around her when she showed no signs of letting go. I couldn't remember the last time someone had hugged me, and the thought just made me want to hug her tighter.

At last Alice broke away and bounced out of the room, saying she would make us both a cup of her special coffee. I couldn't help the small smile which came to my face. Maybe having a friend might not be so bad after all. As long as she never knew about my past.

 **EPOV**

"So she's a brunette, you say?" James asked as he took another drag.

"Yup, and so fucking beautiful, J! I have never seen a girl like that before," I said, envisioning those perfect lips and thick hair, which I could already envision spread out on my sheets. I was horny. Getting high always got me horny, but I didn't want any of the girls on my usual list tonight. I wanted her. The brunette with those kissable lips and lush body. I wondered how those lips would feel around my cock. Fuck.

"Isabella... so beautiful," I whispered.

"Hmm, so why is she not here now?" James asked as Tanya joined us and placed herself on James' lap.

"She is Alice's roommate," I replied.

"Since when did that stop you?" Tanya asked with a scoff as she stole the weed from James' hand.

"It didn't stop me, alright. But Ali was there and she interrupted. Asked me to stay away," I replied.

"Oh boy, now you want her even more, right?" asked James.

I smiled. "Hell, yes, the forbidden fruit element. The fruit which I plan to ravish very, very soon." Those chocolate brown eyes and those delectable lips came to my mind again, and I decided that I was gonna make a feast of my Isabella, soon.

"Well, it won't take much work. Get her alone, work the Edward Cullen charm and I am sure that she will be putty in your hands," James snickered.

I thought about the way she had stormed away when I invited her for a spin. "Nah, she won't break that easily." She was hot when she was mad.

I was liking this more and more. A chase. That's exactly what needed. I was bored with those girls who threw themselves at me. I would thoroughly enjoy wrecking Miss Swan's world.

"We are heading in. You wanna join us, Edward?" James asked. It was a tempting offer, but I decided to decline. Tanya was no fun anymore, not since she fell hopelessly in love with James.

And moreover, I was currently high… on Isabella.

 ***once again thanks to my wonderful beta for making this presentable. You are a rock star Janine!**


	3. Angel

**BPOV**

"Edward, stop following me around!" I said exasperatedly, as once more I found him and his stupid bike parked next to my apartment.

For the past two weeks this was how things had been. It seemed I was always running into him, and he kept making suggestive remarks. I tried ignoring him, but he just won't leave me alone.

"Look, if you don't stop this, I will get a restraining order placed on you," I said, at last.

"Come on, Swan. I have been asking you out for weeks! Just go out with me once and then I promise I will never get in your way again," he said showing off his crooked smile. He struck an impressive figure, perched on his bike with the helmet in lap, but that was totally beside the point.

"Oh, please, as if you would ever give me a second glance once I let you 'take me out', or should I just say, 'once I let you fuck me'. I know that the likes of you want nothing more than a quick toss between the sheets," I scoffed.

He looked a bit taken aback for a second. But then the smile was back. "I have been behind you for weeks - what makes you think that one quick fuck will quench my appetite? I want to ravish you, Isabella. If only you would let me," he said the last part with a dramatic sigh. Asshole.

"Leave. Me. Alone. I am not interested. I don't want to sleep with you," I said.

"You are lying, sweet heart, I am pretty good at reading people, and your face betrays you. You find me attractive, you secretly wonder how it would be like to fuck me. Right now, your face is flushing and your pupils are dilating, which shows that you are getting turned on."

I was left speechless by his words. Such an immoral bastard.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, baby. It's primitive," Edward said, running the back of his hand down my cheek.

I was surprised that I didn't flinch. For some unknown reason, Edward's touch still did not create the gut wrenching feelings I kept expecting. Does that mean I was getting better? Was all that therapy and shit actually working? Or was it just him? His presence, though annoying, never seemed to create fear. And secretly, I did like bickering with him.

He was no good for me. But, then, was I any good, either? I was damaged goods. There was nothing stopping me from sleeping with him. After all, he was not looking for anything long term I could just get him out of my system and then move on. Ever since he came into my life, he had been taking up my attention. I didn't like it.

This was my second chance. I didn't want distractions. Edward was exactly that: a distraction. Maybe you could just sleep with him. Then you both can go your separate ways. Said the small part of my brain which lusted for him. Ya, and how exactly would I do that? What would I tell him when he starts taking off his clothes? Or when he asks me to take off my mine. I am never going to have a normal life, especially not with one like Edward.

I wouldn't believe that I even contemplated his offer. I looked at Edward's face. His hand was still on my cheek, his touch surprisingly soft. I wonder if he ever had a girl scream in terror at the sight of him, naked.

"OK, how about this... Let me at least take you for a bike ride. If you truly hate me that much, I swear on my sister that I would bring you back to your apartment in an hour, and no funny business, I promise," he said.

His face seemed genuine. His offer was tempting. It was a Friday. Alice would be out. I had planned to spend the night studying, like always. I was sick of sitting alone, contemplating my past and future, while trying to concentrate on my present.

It had been just a week since my starting over and already I felt so tired from keeping up this pretence. Frankly, I needed a break. I did have my pepper spray with me. And he wouldn't dare… not when it would get back to Alice. Whatever his issues, the guy loved his sister.

"Fine, but no funny business or else it's your funeral," I said. I hopped on behind him before I changed my mind. Fuck it, maybe I would actually have fun for the first time in my life.

"Hold tight," he said as he started the bike.

 **EPOV**

Fuck, she looked gorgeous. She didn't know I was staring, hereyes on the sky She looked so peaceful, lying there, stargazing.

We were in a clearing, my bike was parked a bit ahead. Our one hour had somehow turned into four. We had some drinks and ended up talking. And I liked talking to her. Beauty with brains. I almost felt bad about what I was gonna do to her. I had no honour. She was stupid to think I would keep my word.

By the end of the night, she would be in my bed - , no one could resist the Cullen charm, as James would say. We were all alone here.

Suddenly she turned and smiled at me.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" I asked.

Her smile was gone. She was silent for the longest time. Shit, why was she upset?

"Thank you so much," she said after some time.

"Why?" I asked surprised by the sudden change of course.

"For being almost a gentleman tonight. I really thought you would have planned something to get me into bed, but it seems I was wrong about you," she said, taking a sip of the beer by her side.

"Why did you agree to the ride, then?" I asked. I wasn't really listening, my eyes were on her lips around that bottle. She slowly licked her upper lip and I was instantly hard.

"I would have hit you," she said confidently.

I couldn't help but laugh at her naivety. Did she think she could really bring down a man? She was annoyed that I was laughing at her and got up and moved away from me, swaying a bit on her feet. Seems like my girl was a bit drunk.

I got up and walked towards her. "OK, I am sorry for laughing at you," I said.

"Laugh all you want, you are just an asshole, I really can take you down. You wanna see?" she said getting all defensive.

I think her expression was supposed to scare me but it just made me laugh more. She looked adorable, trying to look like a tough bitch while she was drunk off her feet.

I turned her towards me, gripping her tightly because she almost lost her footing in her attempt to show me her martial art skills. I was surprised by the vulnerability I saw in her face. She looked so young. And suddenly, I just wanted to protect her. I didn't know where that came from. But at that moment, I just wanted to pull her close and keep her safe.

And I did just that. Fuck, this girl was messing with my head. She was right, I needed to stay away from her. I didn't need this complication in my life. The last thing I wanted was to develop feelings for her. Nothing more than a quick lay was on the cards.

I was about to pull her away and suggest that we head back when she let out a whimper. She was silently crying, holding my jacket tightly.

"Swan? Are you crying," I asked quietly. What the fuck! Why was she crying?

"Yes," she sobbed. She was really wasted, it seemed.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, patting her on the back awkwardly. Taking care of crying females was really not my forte.

"Because I am scared," she replied, repressing her sobs.

"Scared of what?" I asked.

"Him! I am scared, so scared he will come back. He hurt me. He hurt me so bad. I-I am scared e-very night he will come back!" she was sobbing hysterically, now.

"Who is _he_?" I asked.

But she didn't answer, she continued to cry. Her face looked so scared and she was clinging to me. I hugged her tighter. Who exactly was him? And why did she look so scared?

She was in no shape to ride behind me, so I took her in my arms. She still held tightly to me, and I felt that protective thing again.

Who had hurt her? I suddenly wanted to know everything about her, and hurt the one who was the reason for each of those tears.

I scoffed at myself internally. Me, going soft over a girl! She meant nothing to me, and since when did I become a defender of the weak? I was hardly a paragon of virtue.

I decided to get the girl back home.

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I watched as Isabella slept in my bed, once again caught up in her beauty. Even with her face puffy and blotchy she looked gorgeous. It had taken me some time to get her to a bed, and by then she had cried herself to sleep. My bike was still in the clearing. James promised to get it for me.

When she agreed to the ride, my plans for the night were to get her between the sheets, which was exactly where she was. But I had no intention of sleeping with an intoxicated girl. I had planned to leave her at her place, but Alice was out and I didn't want to leave Swan alone.

 _"_ _He hurt me. He hurt me so bad. I-I am scared e-very night he will come back._ " The words kept coming back to me. Who was _he?_

So I had brought her to my place. She looked angelic, so innocent. I was a bastard . Why was I even doing this? I was just gonna hurt her more. And it seemed she had already been hurt a lot. That was evident from her screams.

I had panicked the first time she screamed. I tried to wake her but she just kept crying, begging someone not to hurt her. Each of her screams had tugged at my heart. Someone had hurt her and still continued to hurt her through her dreams.

And she had hurt herself, too. I couldn't help but see the scars on her hands and arms as I had helped her to bed.

Fuck…what had you landed yourself in, Edward? One thing I knew for sure, Isabella Swan had a past, and not a pretty one at that.

I watched as she continued to sleep, twisting and turning. I prayed she was not having another nightmare. Was this how every night was for her? She was so young. Barely twenty. I wondered who _he_ was for the millionth time. I felt an insane desire to find the guy and make him my personal punching bag.

I was getting attached. No, I couldn't do that. I had to get away from this girl. She didn't need me to add to her problems. No more flirting. No more trying to get into her pants. She was officially off limits. Come tomorrow, I will grant her, her wish. I was gonna miss chasing her, hearing her shout at me. Her frustrated sighs. Her reluctant smiles.

I still have her till sunrise, I consoled myself. She had gone silent. At last my angel seemed to have found a bit of peace. I slowly lay down on the sofa. I could still watch her from there. And I planned to fall asleep looking at that face.


	4. Bad Decision

**BPOV**

Shit, I was late. I did not notice that the time had passed so quickly. I had been at the public library working on the latest assignment for my psychology major. And now it was quite late and dark. And I had lost my way. I switched on the GPS in my mobile and tried to locate myself. No network coverage. Just my luck.

I thought about calling Alice to pick me up but then remembered that she was out on a date. I looked around and was surprised at how quite the whole street was. I needed to get out of here soon.

I wondered if I could call someone else. But I had no friends here. I thought about Edward. Maybe he could help. He had given me his number that night...No, no I was not gonna call him. He had been avoiding me like the plague since that night.

I couldn't still believe that I had ended up drunk. I had planned to leave within an hour and ended up sleeping in his bed. He was a gentleman that night, to my surprise. I remembered his tall and lanky frame cramped up on the small sofa.

I turned around at the sound of catcalls. A couple of drunkards were hanging out nearby. I needed to get away. I turned around and walked briskly. Edward was my only option because I am not calling the cops, the last thing I wanted was my past to be revealed here.

I could hear the footsteps following me.

"Edward, help", I said as soon as he picked up.

"Swan, what happened?", his voice asked.

"I-I got lost...Some men are following me" I whispered. The fear was getting to me. The men were calling out stuff. Their drunken slurring was bringing back the memories I had long shut down.

"Explain your surrounding, what's the last place that you recognized", Edward asked. I began to give him the details. I could hear the motorbike starting in the background.

The men were closer now. I began to run. I needed a place to hide out. Until Edward could find me.

I seemed to have lost them for the moment. I looked around for a place to hide. I could feel the panic rising. I couldn't breath. My vision was blurring. No...I can't. Deep breaths...and then I saw an old truck on the roadside. I ran towards it. I got on the back and laid low. There was a worn out tarp in the truck. I pulled that over me. Hopefully they won't find me.

It must have only been seconds but it felt like hours, I heard them. They were calling out obscenities. Searching for me. I held my breath hoping they didn't find me. And then my phone gave me away as it pinged letting me know I had a message. Damn.

"Dude, she is somewhere around. I heard her phone" said one of them.

"Check around, she is here", the other one said.

"Look in that truck, the bitch must be in there, there is no other place to hide here".

I knew it was over. I accepted it. I felt someone pull the tarp off. I felt rough hands pulling me down. I shut down. My body recognized this. I felt numb as the men gathered around me. I closed my eyes, cursing God and his wicked games.

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 **EPOV**

"Fuck James, she is not here."I said as I kept running through the alley. I knew the place and I knew it was no place for a girl like Isabella. How the hell did she end up here.

"Well, I called Martha, she said Mark and his gang were out tonight. I already called some of the other boys to check the other streets" said James.

"Fuck, fuck...", I jumped back on to the bike. I am finding her no matter what. James followed me.

Isabella...shit. I can't let anything happen to her. I cursed myself for distancing myself from her. Damn. I hoped she was alright.

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 **BPOV**

I was in my happy place. In a meadow, lying under the sun. Weightless, content. I could hear them bickering over who would go first. I didn't care who it was. Eventually they would all get a chance. I ignored them.

"Take you fucking hands off her", I recognized that voice. But I didn't dare open my eyes. I was in my meadow and my mom was there with me, she was singing a lullaby.

Suddenly I felt movement. I was no longer being held down. I was in someone's arms. I opened my eyes and saw those pair of starling green eyes looking at me with concern. "You Ok" he asked.

I had lost the ability to speak. You are in shock, a small part of my brain contributed. I just nodded at him. I could hear a scuffle behind me. Edward had come with friend's it seemed. He placed me on the truck and went to help his friends. I watched impassively as he manged to beat up the drunkards.

Soon I was back in Edward's arms and he was carrying me towards his bike. I held on tight to him as he raced through the dark street.

It was only after he stopped in front of his apartment that I realized where I was. "I think it would be best if you stay here tonight" I looked at him in confusion but he didn't explain. And I was too exhausted to ask more.

"Are you hurt?", he asked me once we were inside.

I shook my head again. I realized Edward was holding me. I tried to pull away but he just pulled me closer. "Are you sure?" his face was filled with concern.

"Just scared", I said shocked at how feeble my voice sounded.

"You need to rest, you will feel better tomorrow and don't worry about those drunks, they will never bother you again, sleep now" he said.

I knew what would happen the moment I closed my eyes. I wouldn't survive the nightmares tonight. I needed my pills. I looked around for my bag. "My bag", I whispered. I must have dropped it earlier. I needed those pills. I couldn't sleep without those.

I couldn't help the tears now. I felt the hopelessness and despair creep into me. I couldn't sleep without those damn pills. I couldn't let Edward hear me scream out as my step father abused me. I felt dirty and sick. I needed to get away.

I tried to move out of his hands but I was too weak. "shh, Isabella, it's OK..you are safe now. No one's gonna hurt you, now I have got you now", his voice was soothing almost like my mom's lullaby.

I felt safe in his arms. As if I was in my happy place. At another time the thought would have probably scared me, but right now I was too tired and my mind just shut down. The sweet lullaby played on.

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 **EPOV**

She was in my arms. Her lashes were tear stained. Her cries had upset me more than I wanted to admit. I remembered the panic and the helplessness that filled me when I couldn't find her.

Thank God for Seth. He was the one who informed us where Mark and his gang had been hanging out. What if I had been late? What if she had not called me? My gut wrenched as those thoughts ran through my mind.

She had been so scared. She din't realize it but she had been shaking. I held her as close as possible, trying to sooth her and she had slept like that. In my arms.

I tried to pull away so that she would be comfortable in the bed, but the moment I moved away she began to whimper. My angel was really shaken. And then her past...I didn't know what her past held but somehow tonight's incidents had triggered those memories. Her cries proved that.

Nobody would hurt her again. I barely knew this girl but somehow she had come to mean a lot to me in this meaningless world. And I would protect her at all costs. I placed a small kiss on her forehead. She let out a small sigh and pulled me closer. I let my eyes drop, secure in the knowledge that she was safe in my arms.

Tomorrow we will talk. Staying away had been a bad decision. One I never mean to repeat again.


	5. The Next Day

**EPOV**

I blinked awake as the rays of sunlight fell on me. For a moment, I didn't remember the night before. It all came flooding back as soon as I turned my head and smelt her.

Last night had been hard, for both of us. She kept screaming out in terror as she slept. Each of her screams hurt me more than I cared to admit. It was early morning by the time she quieted. I was holding her, hoping it would somehow help her fight her demons. And that's how I fell asleep.

Isabella… She was no longer in the bed. Where did she go so early? I stood up and made to move outside to search for her. A letter on the nightstand caught my eye.

 _Edward,_

 _I am so sorry that I am leaving like this. I will forever be indebted to you for your help last night. I feel I have already imposed on you too much. Sorry for all the trouble I caused._

 _Bella_

She fucking left!

She ran. Of course she would. She was scared. Something in her past had scarred her making her wary of all humans, especially men. So, obviously, she would run away. Well, she could run as much as she wanted, but I was not gonna let go that easily. I had made a decision last night and I always made it a point to stick to them.

I called up my sister, hoping she would know something about my little bird. Alice picked up on the third ring.

"Tell me everything you know about Bella," I said without any preamble.

"What? Edward, I asked you to stay away from her!" Alice sounded angry.

"It's not your call, Alice! Just tell me what you know," I said, fast losing my patience.

"Edward, I am serious, don't mess with her. She is not one of those girls you play around with. You will just end up hurting her, and she-" Alice stopped suddenly.

"And she has already been hurt, right? Was that what you were going to say?" I asked.

"I-I don't know. She never speaks much. It's as if she has these walls around her, she does not let anybody in. All she does is study, study and study some more," Alice said.

Walls? More like armour, I thought. "What else?" I asked.

"Well, she is an orphan, or so she said. Scholarship student. No boyfriend. Edward I swear if you-" I cut her off.

"Last night, Isabella was almost gang raped. Thankfully, I got there in time… if I had not found her…" I couldn't even bring myself to think about it. The image of Bella surrounded by those dogs still played in my mind. I should have killed those bastards. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath, banishing the disturbing images from my mind, before continuing. "She was with me the whole night, since you were out and I didn't want her to be alone. But then she ran off from here before I woke up. She was badly shaken up last night. I think she would feel comfortable with someone around her, preferably a girl." I said.

"What the fuck! Why the hell did you not call me until now? Where is she now? Is she okay?" I could hear Alice closing the door and scuffling towards what I hoped was a car.

"I wasn't thinking! Alice, she was really upset. I just wanted to get her somewhere safe!" I said.

"Okay, Jas is taking me home now. I will call you once I talk to her," Alice said.

"Okay, call me," I said." Wait, who is Jas? I thought you were with some girlfriend?"

But she had already cut the call. Seems like I had someone to have the big brother talk with.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 **BPOV**

The feel of cold water against my body felt amazing. It felt so cleansing, as if it was purifying me of the remnants (last remnants is tautological – they mean the same thing) of last night. As the panic and fear faded into the back of my mind, the familiar feeling of self-disgust and self-loathing replaced it.

I had woken up in the morning to his face inches away from mine. He looked so peaceful, his features almost boyish. His arms were around me, not in the romantic sense but as if he was protecting me, as if he had been keeping me safe.

I was a coward, a big coward. I should have stayed and thanked him properly. He saved my life and I didn't even have the courage to say thank you to his face. I didn't want to face the questions… didn't want to see the pity I would find on his face.

I was shocked at first, because the thought of him in the bed with me had not created a panic attack. The panic had come later, when the events of last night came flooding back. The images of those men! They had joined the ranks of my step-father… ingrained in my brain and coming alive at night to plague and haunt me.

I had almost scrambled away from the bed as I remembered the way Edward had carried me to his room. Me, wailing and screaming as he tried to soothe me. And the nightmares, he had heard them. I knew he had because I remembered his hands soothing me every time I woke up screaming. No, I couldn't bear to see his face filled with disgust and pity.

As I lay there in his arms, I had wondered what it would feel like to have a normal life. What if Renee had never remarried? What if Laurent had never molested me? What if I had been a normal girl?

The man I woke up next to would have been my boyfriend, not my roommate's elder brother. I would have kissed him awake like a normal girl, because I wouldn't get a panic attack from his touch. This is why I never allowed myself to consider the what, if's and maybe's. But yesterday's cluster fuck had struck too close to home, ripping my mask into pieces.

I couldn't stay there anymore… I felt too vulnerable. I couldn't let him see me like this, with all my defences down. I ran, without a goodbye, without even saying thank you to his face. I didn't need the trouble that was Edward Cullen in my life.

I heard the front door open, Alice must be back.

"Bella?" her voice was worried. Obviously Edward had called her up. Damn.

"In the shower," I called.

"Thank God,"

I heard her let out a sigh of relief. I would have to face her inquisition once I was out. Alice didn't know how to take no for an answer. The more I tried to keep her at a distance, the more she found ways to come closer. She made me feel almost normal. Like I had a friend. Like someone actually cared about me.

As I washed my body, I looked at my scars. Most of them had faded away, but the ones on my wrist were not completely gone. The bracelets kept them hidden, but they were just another reminder that I was not normal.

I could hear Alice talking on the phone. Was it Edward on the other side? I hated that I was curious. I needed to stay away from that man. As I dried myself, I tried to imprint two things into my brain.

1\. I was here to study. I wanted to be a psychologist. Help those like me, like Maria had helped me. So I needed to focus on that.

2\. I had no business getting tangled with the likes of Edward Cullen. He did not belong in my world.

I was fully dressed and could no longer stall. Alice was waiting on the other side of the door, and I had to face her questions. I took a deep breath, hoping I could keep my cool. I walked out and saw her typing on her phone.

She looked up.

Okay, here goes nothing.

 ***All the love to my beta who makes the story what it is!**

 ***Do tell me about what you think of the chapters...**


	6. Relapse

**BPOV**

I ended up telling everything to Alice. I didn't mean to - it just happened. But then she had just come and hugged me when I had come out of the shower, wrapped only in my bathrobe. She didn't say anything, she just hugged me. Before Chicago, I had no memories of hugs. And I broke down.

I thought she would fuss and prod me about what had happened, but she didn't. Maybe Edward had already filled her in, but I respected her for letting me breathe a bit.

She made breakfast, or I should rather say, attempted to make breakfast, since it was the first time the pixie had entered a kitchen. But, as they say, it is the thought that counts. Also, her culinary skills did make me smile and I think that was her intention all along.

We huddled in front of the TV and watched Friends reruns. And we talked. Not big stuff, just random things. I didn't say much in the beginning, since the life she described was so alien to me. I had never gone to parties, never had a boyfriend, never had a proper friend. The only stories I had to share were of a dead father, a cocaine snorting mother and a paedophilic stepfather. Hardly a happy memory to share with a friend. So I kept silent and listened as despair and emptiness grew stronger. My life was empty, but as she talked, it hit me hard to realise just how much I had really missed out on. And that made me tear up again. I felt so vulnerable... My tight control had broken last night and now that the mask was gone. Everyone could see the ugliness beneath.

I knew I scared Alice - she thought she had said something wrong. But it wasn't her, it was me. I was the wrong one. How the hell did I cook up the idea that I could be normal? How did I end up believing those therapists and councelors? Of course they were lying. They just finished off their duty and packed me off. Nothing else.

I tried to explain to Alice that I was fine, but I was feeling restless. I was itching everywhere. I knew I should be alone. When I got like this I had to be alone. I didn't want Alice to see me like this. I knew it. She would truly hate me if she found the entire truth. So I went and locked myself in my room.

I haven't felt like this in months. I was relapsing. I knew I was. The urge to cut myself was back. Just to release some pain – it would help so much now. I tried for something, anything, to hold me back from cutting but all I could see was the despair and hopelessness. My future held nothing. No one to love me, no one for me to love, no family to call my own.

I realized that I was on the floor, huddled up. The position was familiar, I always ended up like this after Laurent was done with me for the night.

Laurent. It's been more than two years since his death, but even in death, he haunted me. It was his face I saw every time I closed my eyes. Nightmares of being back in that house, in his prison. I wished I was the one who had killed him. Maybe that would have given me closure.

I could feel tears on my cheeks. The day I had left Seattle, I had promised to let go of my past, but that was broken now, my past a burden which would follow me 'til the end of my life.

"Then end it," said that voice in my head. "Just end this life, take off that burden," it kept saying. "It's not like anybody cares. Your death wouldn't matter to anyone. There isn't even anyone to mourn you," the voice kept encouraging as I moved in search of something, anything that would make it all go away. At last I found a razor among my toiletries. My hands shook as I reached out for it.

I didn't know how long I stood there with the thing in my hand. My mind, my entire being was in conflict. My heart wanted to live, but my brain wished for death.

I was just lowering the razor to my skin when the loud thumping reached my ears. Alice... I had forgotten about her. I had completely tuned out the outside world. How long had she been banging outside? She did not deserve to find her flatmate dead in front of her eyes. I couldn't give her that emotional scar.

"Bella, why didn't you open the door? I have been calling you for ages," she shouted as soon as the door opened.

"I am sorry, Alice... I was just…" Just what? Contemplating suicide? I stumbled to come up with an appropriate response, but then I saw that her eyes were on my hands. Shit. I was still holding the razor.

"Bella... what is that in your hand?" Alice asked, her voice awfully quiet.

"Alice, I can explain, it's not what you think!" I began, knowing full well that it was exactly what she thought. But she was quick. She took hold of my hand, threw the razor away and pushed away the bracelets covering up the marks.

"Not what I think? Is it? Well, I think it's exactly what I think! Are you cutting? What? I-" Alice asked, her face full of fury.

"Alice, listen... I am sorry. I haven't cut myself in almost a year," I said, hoping that bit of information would calm her down.

"Oh really? Then what is the razor in your hand for? Huh?" she asked, her face betraying all her the emotions: anger, fear, pity... I could read them all.

I remained quiet. I had nothing to say, no words to justify myself. At last I made to move back into my room. My mind had come to a decision.

"Where the hell are you going?" she asked.

"To pack. I totally understand that you wouldn't want anyone like me as a flatmate, so I will just move out. You won't have to be scared," I said, my voice cold and emotionless, even to myself.

"You are leaving? What the hell? You are not going anywhere! "Alice shouted. "You are my friend! I don't know what to do right now, but I will figure out something. Until then, you are not going anywhere," she said adamantly.

I shrugged and decided to play along. Of course she couldn't let me go like that. She was a good girl. Her conscience would never allow her to just kick me out like that. But I had made up my mind. I was leaving.

I planned my exit while she fussed over me, quietly watching and listening as she paced across the room. Things would never be the same. All the more reason why I should leave. She couldn't babysit me forever. I would never, ever be a burden on anyone else's shoulders.

At last, Alice couldn't take my indifference anymore.

"Bella, come on...stop this! Tell me why you are doing this. At least help me understand." She had been scared and jittery around me since she saw the razor, walking on eggshells. I kept silent, though my mind was in a million places, my eyes were on Alice as she continued her pacing.

"Fine, if this is how it's going to be, I am calling for help, I didn't want to involve others, but you are not helping. Maybe I will just call Edward, or someone else," she moved to pick her phone.

No, no, no. I couldn't allow this. The looks Alice was giving me was more than enough. I couldn't take everyone else looking at me in the same way. Not again. Chicago was supposed to be a new beginning because of that.

I pulled the phone out of Alice's hand. "I told you I will leave, just let me be," I seethed.

"How can I just let you be? I just found you, about to cut yourself! And I should just let you leave?" Alice was shouting. I saw tears streaming down her face.

"Then what should I do? Just sit and keep watching as you treat me like a ticking bomb? I don't want to be seen like this, I didn't want this pity, that's why I came here. And look how that turned out. What else should I do now!" I screamed.

Alice was silent. At last she said," You could talk to me. I know I might be of no help, but I think of you as a friend. I am sorry for how I behaved, it's just that the thought of what could have happened really scared me, Bells," Alice said, her voice merely a whisper, as she came and embraced me

Bells... I liked that name. "Alice, I can't, you wouldn't want to know. It's bad," I whispered.

"I can take it. Just tell me, I am your friend... I-I want to know," She whispered back.

I took a deep breath. Before I knew it, we were back on the sofa, huddled together, as old wounds were sliced open. She cried for me. By the end of my story she was a mess and I was tired. It had drained me, recounting the past. I had not gone into details because she didn't need that burden. Those were just mine to carry. I left for my room after promising her that I wouldn't cut.

She had at last believed that today was just a small relapse. A reaction after yesterday's debacle. I had convinced her, and I meant to keep my promise. I wouldn't cut, but my decision hadn't changed. I was leaving. Tonight.


	7. Not Obsessed

**EPOV**

"Oh, Edward it's not good..", I could almost feel my sister's sadness through the phone.

"What is it?", I asked though I already had an idea what it might be.

"She was hurt,... so badly...how could anyone be so cruel to her?" Alice cried. So my assumption about Bella having a bad past was true.

"I can't tell you what it is...I promised her I won't tell anyone", she said. Again I had expected this too. In fact I was surprised she had opened up to Alice. Isabella was the kind of person who held her secrets close and put on an act for others.

"Where is she now?", I asked.

"Sleeping. In her room", Alice replied. I could hear Alice's nervous fluttering even through the phone.

"Do you have something else to say?", I asked her.

"I...she cuts Edward. I mean she used to cut, she promised she had stopped it an year ago but then I saw a razor in her hand today when she opened her room, I know she was about to cut, if I had been a bit late...she", Alice was gasping.

Damn. This hit too close to home. "Alice calm down. Please..." I tried to sooth her, but I have never been good with words.

"I-I it was almost like mom..I, what if I had been late and I had found her on the floor bleeding out just like mom? What if I can't help Bella either and she also goes away like mom?" Alice was sobbing.

"Alice, our mom suffered from severe depression. And as far as I know, her situvation is not at all similar to our mom. For one thing she doesn't have a philandering husband who shoves his various mistresses in her face", I couldn't help the venom in my voice I thought of the man who I had the misfortune of calling my father.

Alice was quiet. "Edward...you keep getting mad at dad for his deeds. You left home, your studies, your career and practically everything because of your hatred of him. But I am scared Edward. Every time I see you now, I am scared you are tuning more into him."

"What! What do you mean? I am not him!", I shouted through the phone. Bewildered at the complete turn in the conversation.

"How dare you compare me to that sleazy excuse for a human." I spat.

"Well, you say that he thinks of women as a commodity and as just a way to get off, but aren't you doing the same? Basically, you also get a different woman every night and then once the novelty wears off you dump them without a second glance. I am not accusing you..Edward. I just don't want to lose my brother. I don't want you to become another Carlisle Cullen", she whispered before she cut the call.

Alice's words hit home. No, No...No. I am not him. I don't treat women like that. I never promise them anything, they always know what they are getting from me. I always make my intentions clear. _As if that makes what you do any better._

I thought of mom. Her face as my father walked around with his conquests in front of her. He had even bought them home, gloating it...I remembered how she had changed from the woman with the beautiful smile and wonderful hugs to an almost ghost. She had died long before the night she did physically. It was all his fault. She had loved him so much and he had thrown that love back in her face.

Fuck...she was right. I was becoming like him. I had been too wrapped up in my pain at losing mom and hatred towards my father that I didn't even notice that I was doing exactly what my father always did. Using women as a distraction, a way to keep your mind of things.

No, I won't become my father's son. Never in a million years. I swore then and there that I would never again take that path. I didn't want to be like him. I wanted to be a good brother. Someone whom Alice could be proud off. She is all I had left in this world and I didn't want her to be scared of me. Alice...I haven't heard her this scared and sad since she found mom's body in her bedroom three years ago.

Isabella... _no Bella_. It suited her. What had happened to her? Who had hurt her? I thought of her petite form, so small in my arms. Who would want to hurt something so beautiful and fragile.

She cuts. I remembered the numerous bracelets she adorned. I should have known. After all that I had seen mom do to herself, I should have known.

I imagined Bella's small form huddled in a corner, tears streaming down her beautiful brown eyes, cutting her skin just so that the physical pain would override the emotional one. I imagined the droplets of blood which would be oozing from her pores and I wanted to murder the bastard who hurt her that bad.

I couldn't get the image out of my mind. I tried to forget it, but nothing was working. I tried to imagine a face of her smiling instead, just to realize that I have never seen her smile. Not a genuine one at least.

I got up from my bed, feeling even more restless at that thought. I needed some fresh air. Maybe I will go for a ride. A ride always calms me down.

No, I wasn't going to check on her. I am not a stalker and I am not obsessing over her. If I do end up in her street later tonight, that would just be a coincidence. I am not getting involved in the story of Bella Swan. I had enough on my plate as it was.

Fuck who was I kidding...I was already involved.


	8. Running Away

**BPOV**

It was past 2 in the morning. I had crept out of the apartment leaving behind a sleeping Alice. I was scared of the dark…always had been. But I had to get away. I could not be a burden on Alice. Never.

I was planning to take a cab to the airport, I could stay there and take the next flight back home. Chicago was not for me. Seattle…I was doomed to live with the memories of my past in Seattle. That's what was written for me in this life.

It broke my heart that after all my planning and work, I had failed. Yet again. I didn't belong in this world. A tear slipped out of my eyes. I didn't stop it, I didn't have the strength.

"Going somewhere", I heard a voice. For a split second, I panicked imagining that the drunkards from last night were back. But then I recognized it. Edward.

I turned around to find him leaning against a wall, a cigarette between his lips.

"I-I…", I stuttered. Trying to come up with a reason.

"You were running…weren't you? Again? Yesterday you ran from me and now today you are running from Alice," he slowly walked towards me.

"How long will you do this, Bella? Are you planning to run every time someone tries to get close to you?" he asked.

"You won't understand!" I said.

"Try me".

"Edward…just leave me alone. I am going back to Seattle. That's the best option for everyone." I started to walk.

"Back to Seattle…where all the haunting memories lie, isn't it?" he asked.

"Go away", I screamed at him. But he started following me. Why couldn't I find a cab any where when I need it.

"I can give you a ride", he said.

"What about my luggage?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Don't run. Leave the stuff back upstairs. We could just ride around and then later you might feel different", he said. "You might not want to leave."

"No, Edward. I need a ride to the airport, I am leaving…don't bother to try and change my decision because it is not going to work. " I said.

But he still kept walking behind me. "What do you want from me?" I asked at last.

"Nothing Bella, I was just trying to ensure that you find a cab. It's late and I don't want you to be alone on the road like this, especially not after last night." He said.

That made me shut up. He was trying to protect me. No one has ever done something like this for me. Nobody had ever bothered about me like this. I wasn't expecting that.

"Thank you", I said. He just nodded in reply and motioned me to start walking.

"I know you cut", he said after few minutes. He had been silent and I was just beginning to relax.

But his words made me turn around in shock. Alice had spoken to him.

"I…did Alice tell it to you?", I asked.

"She confirmed it, but Bella…I knew there was something troubling you the moment I met you." he said.

"So you mean I look like a psycho?", I asked trying to ignore the fact that he was calling me _Bella._ Somehow it felt different from when Alice said it, or from when _he_ said it.

"No...that's not what I meant," he began.

"Dot it," I said. Enough….I had enough. I could see a cab parked some distance away and made to move away.

And then, then suddenly Edward was holding my hand in captive.

 _Strong hands pinning mine away. His breath suffocating me. His gleeful smile as he watched me struggle…._

I slapped him. It was impulse. I…..Edward was not him, but the memories had deterred me. I looked at my hand as if it was an alien object. I had slapped Edward.

Edward…I looked up expecting to see him angry. Expecting him to hurt me like _he_ had. But Edward's face took me by surprise.

He looked so worried. Concern was written all over his face. Why should he feel concern for the girl who hit him?

"Bella….are you okay?" his voice was panicked. His reaction was not making sense. And there he was calling me that name again.

"Don't call me that…", I shouted but it came out as a whisper.

I at last figured out why he was looking so worried. It was me. I was shaking. I was literally shaking. It must have been the memory…I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

I hated myself then and there…my hands were itching. The impulse was back. I wanted to cut. I scratched at it. And then I remembered, Edward could see.

And he did see, since I could find his eyes trained on my hand.

"I am not gonna touch you…but you are not feeling well, l can't let you go like this. Please listen", his voice was so carefully guarded and I hated it. I hated that even he now so me as sick.

"Why should I stay? What have I got here?" I screamed.

"What have you got there in Seattle?" he asked back.

"I…" I have got nothing. I fell quiet.

"You have got your future here. College, degree, a job, a new life", he said.

"And there, and there you don't have anything...just stuff which will hurt you over and over and over…which will just drive you to cut again and again until the day you will get carried away and end it all", he was furious.

"Life has given you a second chance Bella…you can either run and continue to live in the past with whatever that hurt you or you can take my hand and return to home with me and start your new life and build a good future," he said extending a hand for me to take.

I looked at it. I was breathing hard. What should I choose?

Taking his hand meant fighting….I had fought for the last two years. How much longer would I have to fight? I was just so tired. I don't think I can do it for any longer.

Running was easier. So much easier. I was still confused. I looked at Edward's face again. His face remained a mask but his eyes…his green eyes seemed to be pleading with me to make the right choice.

 _Why should he care? Why the hell should he care about someone like me?_

I took a deep breath. I looked at his face once more. I had made my decision.


	9. Sorry

**Hi,**

 **First of all I am extremely sorry for not updating for a month. But there was a reason for it. I just wanted to ensure that the story was written well enough. This fic means a lot to me and I want it to be perfect, so my beta and me had been working on it for the past couple of weeks. And it's almost done. I will begin posting regularly in December.**

 **Once again sorry for the delay...and please do tell me whether you liked the story so far. I will continue the chapters and determine the length of the fic depending upon the response I get. So please do review...:)**


	10. The Walk

***I said December, and here I am a month late. No apologies would make it better...I know! But things didn't go the way I planned...what can I say!**

 **So is anyone still around? Still interested? Should I continue the tale? Let me know...I promise to be regular if I get a decent response... though I don't really deserve a dime of your time after the way I left.**

 **BPOV**

It seemed like the entire world was sleeping, no noise around...except for our silent breathing and our footsteps.

"How did you know?" I asked him, unable to tolerate the silence anymore. He was still holding my hand, leading the way...to where, I didn't know.

"Know what?" he asked, still looking ahead.

"Know that I was leaving!" I whispered.

"I-I didn't know that you were gonna leave," he admitted quietly.

"Then what where you doing there?" I asked stopping in my tracks.

"After Alice called, I felt a bit uneasy...so I decided to check on her," he replied.

"You were scared I would hurt her?" I asked as his words and actions began to register. Of course he wouldn't want his sister to live with a loonbin like me. But then why would he stop me from leaving?

"No, no...I wasn't afraid of that...I-," Edward sighed in frustration.

"Our mother used to cut. Her life was not an easy one...thanks to our Dad. She used to be a lovely woman, but as time passed his actions turned her into a ghost of that lady...and one day Alice came home to find her lying in a pool of her own blood!" Edward pressed his lips tightly, and I could feel the tension in his body. His hand holding mine was sweating, he tried to let go, but on instinct I held tighter.

"Did he hurt her?" I asked, trying my hardest to not betray the fear in my voice. I could imagine a monster just like my own...hurting a woman who resembled Alice, as she cried on for mercy. I could hear her cries as his belt laid welt after welt on her delicate skin. I could hear her scream out in pain and fear as he pulled her hair, dragging her around as if a rag doll.

I shuddered in terror and Edward's grip on me tightened. It brought me back to the present, to the green orbs looking at me.

"Did he hurt her?" I asked again, this time my voice did betray my fear and pain. I knew it the moment Edward's face morphed from pain to pity.

"Not physically...but in some ways, it was worse, I think!" he said.

"Worse?" I asked wondering how anything could be worse than what I had gone through, how can emotional pain kill someone?

"He killed her slowly...broke and mutilated her heart, until she was just a skeleton...and then the drugs and medicines did the rest of the job!" he said venom laced in her tone.

"It was their wedding anniversary...Dad didn't care, went out with one of mistresses. Didn't even give her a passing glance, and that night, she..." Edward trailed off.

"I am sorry," I said quietly, not knowing what else to say. I remembered Alice's face when she saw me with the razor...now it made sense.

"Why did you stop me from leaving?" I asked him at last, "I guess I triggered a lot of unwanted memories for you and Alice...won't it be better if I left?"

Edward seemed to think about it for sometime, so I walked quietly, trying hard to not let my thoughts get to me...trying to live right there in the moment...to not think of tomorrow or yesterday.

"Yes...," he replied at last, "It would be better if you left!"

"Then why did you stop me?" I asked, trying to pry my hand away from him...rejection and regret burning their holes in me.

"Let me complete...It would have been better if you left, but I don't want you to leave, neither does Alice!" he said.

"What does that even mean?" I asked, trying to decipher his cryptic words.

"Alice is thrilled to have you as a friend. She is at last free from Dad and she loves having you as a roommate...you are one of the few genuine friends she have!" he said.

"She has a lot of friends...," I muttered.

"Not many that she loves as dearly as you...," he replied.

"Me? She loves me?" I asked skeptically.

"Why Bella...don't you think you are lovable?"

I was silent. How do I tell him that nobody loved me... _he_ had said that...and it was the truth. Even my own mother had never loved me.

 _I was on the floor...naked, my whole body in pain after the abuse it had taken. The monster was beside me...his rough hands running through my body, everything in me screamed to push him away...but my brain knew it was useless. He was nearly done...no need to get him worked up again. I just needed to lie quietly. He had got what he wanted...he would leave soon._

 _Just then his hands took hold of my breasts...he squeezed them, I held the scream inside, biting my lips...he would leave soon, I just had to be quiet._

 _"They have grown bigger...huh?" He said pinching a nipple, a silent tear from my eyes was the only response he received._

 _His hand moved lower...and I drew blood, biting my cheeks._

 _"God you are such a good little slut...can't keep my hands off you, fuck! I want you again...," he growled getting on top of me again, suffocating me with his weight._

 _"You enjoy this, don't you bitch! Making me lust after you like this...," his fingers marked my cheek with a thud. Pain laced through me...elicing more tears._

 _And then he plunched inside me and I lost all control and screamed out for mercy. He enjoyed my pain...so he slapped me again, before pulling my nipples roughly while he continued the punishing rhythm downstairs. His finger nails, scrapped through my body...and I called out to the heavens...hoping someone would come...someone would save me from this nightmare._

 _"Scream all you want, girl...," he whispered in ear, "no one's coming for you...no body is there to save you...you are my property, you cunt! It's your job to please you...that's your only way to survive, because there is no one out there who cares enough to save you...," and with that he pulled out and came all over my breasts._

 _Once he was done...he looked up in satisfaction, "Now that's a good look on you...this is all you are worth for!" he said, already up on his feet, pulling on his clothes._

 _"Now let me go check on your mother...need to ensure that she gets her fill," he said pulling out the a packet, and winking at me._

 _"Pity...she loves these, more than you," he said waving the packet in front of me._

 _"Stay right there till I get back...," he said giving me one last once over before leaving me to my tears._

"Bella...," someone was shaking me, I flinched and looked around. No, I was not back there...not again. No...I was in Chicago. With Edward...I remembered feeling the hand holding mine.

"Bella...you look sick! Come here, sit down...are you okay...Fuck, Bella answer me," Edward's voice was panicked.

"I am okay...," I tried to say but my voice sounded alien to me. And then I was sitting down on a bench and Edward was before me, holding both my hands now.

"You are not okay...you were crying...your face was white as a sheet, I-I...," the look of concern on his face, made me loathe myself.

"I am fine!" I said with all the confidence I could muster.

"Bella...," he began again, but I was going crazy.

"Stop calling me that...," I shouted. "Just don't call me that...," I repeated covering my ears as _his_ voice seemed to come back to life...ringing in my ears.

I realized I was shaking to my core, and I held onto the first thing I could, Edward.

"Shh...whatever it is, it can't hurt you anymore...you are so strong! No one can hurt you..," he whispered holding me in his arms. And despite my shaking, somehow I felt safe there...while he held me.

And he held me like that..till the sun rose over the horizon, till my eyes drooped, whispering soft words, which I couldn't remember...but all the same soothing me to oblivion. For a brief second, light seemed to replace my darkness...before it fell all black again

 ***REVIEWS PLEASE! I really need to know your thoughts...**


	11. Hope

***I hope this makes up for the two moth gap I took. A big thank you to all those who waited!**

 **EPOV**

"We need to help her!" Alice said watching Bella from the door side. I had carried her to their apartment and to her bed and Bella had slept through it all.

I remained silent, my eyes not wavering from the angelic face in front of me. I have been at her side for the past one hour and I couldn't get myself to walk away. Why did this girl have so much effect on me? I wondered, tracing my fingers though her hands...she flinched in her sleep, pulling away.

"Maybe I could talk to my therapist!" said Alice and that caught my attention.

"Kate?" I inquired.

"Yes, she might be able to help Bella...she really helped me remember?" Alice was already pulling out her phone.

"Don't call her Bella...and I think you should discuss it with her, before calling Kate," I said motioning at the sleeping girl next to me.

"Why not?" Alice asked, "She said I can call her that...," Alice looked confused.

"I don't know...that name seems to be a trigger...she shouted at me last night for calling her that...said it was what _he_ used to call her!" I said, wondering who exactly this _he_ was and what the fuck _he_ did to her to destroy her like this. I had my guesses, but I feared to put finger on any of them.

"Oh!" Alice looked really distraught at the fact. She knew everything...Bella..I mean- Isabella had told her everything! What had happened to her? Will she ever tell me? And did I really want to know?

"Edward...I think you should leave now!"Alice said at last, looking at the time. It was almost eight in the morning. I hadn't slept a wink, but somehow I didn't feel like leaving her side.

"She will be fine...I will stay here till she wakes," she said sensing my reluctance.

I sighed, slowly getting up and walking out. I turned around to one last time before leaving the room...she was sleeping peacefully! The light from the window was casting a glow around her...really like an angel.

"Edward...wait!" Alice called out just as I let myself out.

"What?" I asked turning around.

"What's going on?" She asked concern itched on her face.

Seeing my confused expression, she elaborated, "With Bella! I asked you to leave her alone, and you promised you had changed."

Anger fast replaced my confusion...she thought this was all about getting into Bella's pants? "You really think that's what all this is about? Wow, that's a lot of trust you have in me sis," I scoffed.

"No, I saw your face, there inside...she is getting to you isn't she? I can see it written all over you! I have never seen you so concerned for anyone other than your family...you are falling for her!" she stated.

"I am not falling...," I tried to refute it, but Alice gave me a skeptical look. Who am I kidding? Fuck.

"I didn't mean it to happen!" I grumbled.

"What are you gonna do about it?" She asked.

"Do what? Nothing...she already has more than enough on her plate...don't need me to add to it!" I replied.

"No, maybe you could help her...she needs normalcy Edward, maybe you could give her that! Show her that she can have a happy life too...," Alice said, a smile creeping to her face.

"No, no, no...I don't think that's a good idea! I-I don't think...," I stuttered.

"What?" Alice asked, "I thought you liked her? Or is she too much baggage?" she asked giving me the evil eye.

"No, Alice...I mean Isabella already has enough problems in her life...I don't think she needs me pestering around her right now! I don't even think she likes me all that much...and even if she does, I am just gonna end up hurting her more," I said an image of my broken girl running through my mind.

Alice wouldn't get it. After everything that we have been through...my sister was somehow a hopeless romantic. But this was real life...and I was no knight in shining armor, and Bella was certainly no damsel in distress. I had feeling that she was one of those who fought her own battles...she just needed a bit of help, a little reinforcements, maybe. I could be that, I realized...maybe Alice was right...no I will just fuck it up.

Alice saw the indecision on my face, "Think about it, Edward! I think you both could do a lot of good to one another!" she gave me a small smile, before moving in for a hug.

I gave her a quick peck on the cheeks, and walked away quietly, trying to shy away from the prospects...but already my mind had conjured images, of a smiling angel...I have never seen her smile, but I could imagine how it would look. She was in my arms...smiling at me, for once, her eyes...filled with happiness, replacing the usual blackness, I knew.

I closed my eyes...there was nothing to think about, the image answered all the questions! I had to try...at least just to see that smile in real...at least for once.

 ***Loved your reviews...please continue the support! And all the follows and favorites...thanks for everything guys!**


	12. A Kiss

**BPOV**

My palms were sweaty and my whole body was heating up as I waited outside the doctor's office. I can't believe I had voluntarily stepped into one of these places again. No shrink can help me...I know that, but I couldn't say no to Alice. Not after everything Edward told me about her.

My heart was racing by the time an assistant guided me inside. I knew what was coming. Having to relive my past in my dreams was bad enough but now I will have to talk about them! Tell this stranger every humiliating detail of my past so that she can analyse it to bits and pieces.

The assistant showed me to her desk and promised that the shri..I mean Dr Denali would come soon. I looked around the room to distract myself. It looked the same...just like any other shrink's office. I considered making a dash for the door. Why am I doing this torture again?

I was just about to rise from my seat when my phone vibrated. It was a message from Edward.

 _Alice told me u r visiting Dr Denali. Can I pick u up afterwards?_

I hesitated for a second. What should I do? But right then a beautiful woman with platinum blonde hair walked into the room. She must be Dr Denali.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I had to do this!

 _OK._ I replied back to Edward as the lady took her seat across me.

"Isabella...I must say I was a bit surprised when I received a call from Alice asking for an urgent appointment for a friend!" The lady said with a smile.

"I am sorry...I didn't mean to cause any inconvenience," I replied quietly and just then my phone vibrated with another message from Edward.

"No need for apologies here Isabella...I am here to help you, but you need to remember something though," she paused noticing that my eyes were on my phone.

 _Stay Strong._ That was the message from Edward. I tried to collect myself and looked up at Dr Denali making a small apology for getting distracted.

"Isabella...," she began again, " in order for me to help you, you should first be ready to help yourself!" she said as if I hadn't just interrupted her.

"There is no magic cure...Ms Swan. It will hurt a far worse before it begins to heal. And even then your past will always be a part of you, you will just learn to accept it and move forward," She continued.

"Aren't you supposed to be compassionate and all...?" I asked surprised by the words.

"I have a feeling you that you are not looking for compassion and pity," said Dr Denali.

"I know you don't want to go back to those memories again...but I am here to help you Ms Swan! I would just ask you to give yourself a chance...," she continued when she saw that I had no response for her.

"Fine...," I said at last though I still had no hope in my heart. I knew deep down that nothing was gonna change...no wise words from the shrink can change my past.

"Good...then let's begin!" She said with a smile. The best I could return was a grimace.

"Hey, wait up!"I turned around on hearing the familiar voice. Preoccupied with thoughts about Dr Denali's session, I had forgotten all about Edward's text. He seemed to have been waiting for me on the sidewalk, his bike parked nearby.

"Hey," I said as he jogged up to me feeling a bit awkward seeing him again after my last episode.

"How was the session?" He asked, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Good...as far as they go," I said, not really wanting to discuss it.

"Want a ride?" He asked, holding up a spare helmet, seeming to sense my uneasiness.

I smiled at him and took the helmet from him.

"So...," I started at last. We were back at the clearing and both of us seemed to have some difficulty finding words.

"How are your classes going?" He asked me at last.

"Really? That's what you wanted to talk about?" I asked incredulously.

He remained silent.

"Fine...they are doing okay, I guess! I have some assignments and stuff to do...but it's alright," I said at last. He nodded.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What about me?" He looked surprised.

"Alice said that you dropped out, why?"

"I had chosen to be a doctor only to please my Dad! It was not my passion...," He said.

"What is your passion?" I couldn't help the curiosity.

He looked at me for a second and then replied, "I have no clue!"

"There must be something that you like to do, right?" I probed.

"Ummm...I like to paint! Does that count?" He asked with a smile.

"Paint what?"

"My Mom loved to draw and it was something we used to do together...before she became too sick...I guess," he sighed, "These days, I don't do much except spray painting some walls!"

"Like graffiti? Can I see it?" I asked feeling a bit exited.

"Maybe, someday!" He said before falling into silence.

"You really miss your mother," I summarized.

"She was my Mom! Of course I miss her...," He said.

"I hated my mother for the longest time...but then she saved me! Now I don't know how to feel about her," I said quietly.

I felt his hand on my back, somehow it felt comforting.

"Maybe we should head back!" He spoke at last and started to walk away without waiting for a reply.

"Edward, wait!" I called suddenly remembering something and he turned around.

"You never told me why you brought me here!" I said.

He was silent for a second before closing the distance towards me. He was so close, his green eyes burning on me...his breath fanning my hair.

And at that moment I knew he was going to kiss me. His lips were so close, waiting for permission, I realized. He was asking me if it was okay. Was it? I did not know.

I just needed to step way...he was giving me a chance to back out! But my legs refused to move...what could be so bad about it? Edward was not _him..._ and for once I wondered how it would feel to be really kissed, to feel him on me.

And then I knew! It was the softest kiss ever. His lips pressed lightly against mine...but it felt glorious. To feel something...almost as if I was normal, almost as if this was all so simple. I could feel tears building in my eyes and I slowly stepped away from him as reality began to crash back.

He didn't say anything, but just wiped my tears away. And then his hands lingered on my cheeks, his face intense as if searching for the right words.

"I know this won't be easy...I get that you don't even really like me that much! And even i don't really like myself all that much...but I want you to know that I really like you Angel...so, I...will you give me a chance?" He asked.

"Angel?" I asked quietly, my face still in his hands.

His face changed and I realized it had slipped out unintentionally. "I am sorry...I just, that seemed to suit you somehow...it's corny! I know...it's just how I...," he continued to ramble.

But I shushed him with a finger, "I am not an angel, Edward."

"To me, you are," he said and slowly pulled me closer for another kiss this time looking more determined. And I did not resist, not at that moment.


	13. Phone Call

**EPOV**

 _"I am not an angel Edward,"_ Her words replayed in my head. She couldn't see herself clearly. She was the purest and most innocent person I have ever seen...almost like a child. A beaten and broken one but still not corrupted, her mind still pure. And somehow everything in me wanted to protect that innocence.

She had let me kiss her. I smiled, lying in my head, thinking over it. She didn't shrink away in fear. I didn't remind her of _him..._ whoever he was! We could make this work. I thought hope rising in me. I knew myself...I was not the best deal for her. She could do so much better. But if she would have me...I knew I will try my everything to be enough for her. One glimpse of paradise and I was addicted. I can't let her go now!

I took out my phone to see how she was doing. She had been a bit distant after the kiss...but she seemed fine. At least not till I dropped her home. What if she was regretting it now? Panic coursed though me as the thought occurred.

"Hello," her voice shook a bit, but at least she had picked my call.

"Are you busy...," I asked, not knowing what to say.

"No...I was just...doing nothing I guess!" She said.

"Are you angry that I kissed you?" I asked by then desperate to know. She was silent for a moment.

"No," she said and I released a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Why did you kiss me?" She asked suddenly, her voice a soft whisper.

"Because I like you...," I said in surprise. And when she was silent I decided to expand.

"I really like you...I mean, I know I don't have a good track history where girls are concerned but you are not like that! I am not playing with you Angel! I swear I have changed my old ways...Alice can attest for that! Ever since the first time I saw you...you had driven me crazy...it's only you now!" I said hurriedly trying to convince her.

"Why would you like me?" She asked after a second, as if she found the notion unbelievable.

"Why wouldn't anyone like you? You are beautiful sweetheart...but more than that you are...I don't even have words to explain it! You are beautiful inside out baby, there is not a mean bone in you...,I-I...," Why would words fail me now?

"You are lying...," she said and I heard a soft whimper, so soft that I almost missed it.

"No, I am not! I don't know how to convince you right now...but I am not lying Angel...," I said.

"You know that I can never give you anything you want, right?" She said at last.

"How do you know what I want?" I asked.

"Edward, I am not normal! I can't be in a relationship with you! I have panic attacks when a man touches me! I scream out at night in my nightmares, I can never sleep with you...or be with you in that way! I don't think any of that will ever change. We have no future together!" She said and now I really knew she was crying.

"You didn't have a panic attack when I kissed you today! Maybe once we get to know each other...once you trust me...things will change! And I don't care about the sex, okay! This thing with you is more than that...When you wake up at night screaming from a nightmare I will be there to soothe you! You said you don't have many reasons to live in this world...can't I give you one? Can't we just try? If you feel you can't handle it...I promise I will disappear! I just want to be with you Angel...in any way!" As I spoke the words I realized how much I actually meant them. I needed her in my life, one way or another. She had really become my addiction.

The line remained silent for a long time. I just contented myself listening to her breath and let her process everything.

"When you kissed me earlier...," she spoke again at last, "I-I was prepared...I knew you were going to kiss me...I knew it was you. So you can never grab me by surprise or anything...give me a warning before...you touch me...so that I can prepare...okay!" Her voice was soft again...was she giving me a chance.

"And...I don't know what exactly Alice told you about my past...but I need you to know it in full before you commit to anything!" She said.

"You don't need to...," I began knowing it's not easy for her.

"I need you to know...," She cut me off.

"And it's easier to say if I can't see your face!" She said. I sighed and she began, "I grew up in Seattle...my Dad left my Mom and me when I was young. Mom was an addict. She soon married...L-Laurent, he was... _horrible._ Mom never cared much about me as long as she had her stuff...and Laurent started to...he started to molest me. I was thirteen when it started. And it continued till I was seventeen...and then he began to speak of getting me pregnant! I was so scared...thought death was better than a life like this...so I tried to kill myself. When I woke up...I was in the hospital...they said my Mom shot Laurent that night...I don't know the details...she shot him and then shot herself...the neighbors called the cops, I guess!" She said her voice cracking despite her attempt to remain unemotional.

I was silent...she was just thirteen and that animal had... _fuck._ I wanted to scream out...or throw something in anger. But she was still on the line waiting for me to speak. But what could I say to her? how can I even begin to comfort her. I wished I was near her...so that I could at least hold her in my arms. Fuck!

"You can say it, Edward!" He voice said right then.

"Say what?" I asked.

"That you take back everything you said earlier...I know you must be repulsed...it's fine...I-I understand...too much baggage," she whispered.

"Fuck, Angel...if you had said all this to scare me away...y-you have got it wrong baby! I am not running! And I am not repulsed. And you know what...I am coming there to see you...now!" I said.

"What!" She asked sounding surprised.

"I know it's late...but can I come there? I just need to see your face... _please?_ " I said in a calmer voice.

"Okay...," she said at last and I was already on my way to my bike...needing to see her soon.

 ***Thanks for all the reviews and follows. And please do continue the support. If I get a good response I will update sooner I promise! :)**


	14. A Starry Night

**The past two weeks were quite difficult for me. One of my closest friends from this fandom passed away from a car accident. Rox...or as I knew her Ms Chocoholic...I still remember the first time I got a message from you. You were one of my regular readers and your comments and reviews always made me smile. I was so happy to be your beta...but in many ways I had felt I was not not doing a good job of it (forgive me, I know I was terrible). But you had always been supportive and when I pictured you I always saw a smiling teenager. I had always felt close to you because you were in many ways similar to me. Be it that we were both Indian or that we were close in age...I always believed we will one day run into each other in some or other busy street in some part of India...but knowing that it will never happen now feels unsettling. The last time we spoke, you gave me a prompt...I turned it down since I was too busy. But now I feel I need to write it...at least to remember you. So Roxanne I will try for your sake, but you have to be patient with me...I will try to put into words the story of the dream-catcher I was obsessed with. I just wish you were here to read it...but I hope that where ever you are, you are happy and that you have found peace. Rest well my friend...I know you will be missed.**

 **BPOV**

We were in the meadow. It was a starry night, and lying in the grass looking up at the skies, I could almost pretend that everything was perfect. I closed my eyes and envisioned it, the sweet and shy Isabella Swan, a normal girl meeting Edward Cullen, the resident bad boy of the town. They fall in love...she brings out the good in him and they live happily ever after. It felt like a cliche romance story. Except our story was no cliche...this was the story of a broken and dead girl and a tortured man. This will have no happy endings...at least not for the girl. I still ad hope for Edward.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

"You. Me. Us." I replied, my eyes still on the sky. He was sitting cross legged next to my feet. I could feel his eyes on me. But I refused to look back. I didn't want to see the pity or pain I evoked in him.

"Look at me," he said. But I refused.

"I need you to look at my face, Angel. We need to talk," he said again.

"Stop calling me that...I am not some kind of angel like you think," I said at last looking at him.

"You are...to me. And there is nothing you can do which will change that," he said, his expression firm.

"Edward, why don't you understand that I am not some broken toy you can put back together," I said.

He took a deep breath, "To me you are not a broken toy...I made that clear to you. I like you. You said you will try," he said.

"I-I don't know how," I replied, my mind coming up with scenario after scenario where it does not work out.

"I am not asking for anything Angel, sitting here like this with you...that's enough for me. Your presence alone makes me happy, I would never ask you to do something which you are not comfortable with...as I said earlier, if you don't want it I won't even touch you," he said.

"But for how long? You may believe this now...but what about when you get bored. I can never be enough...," I said.

"Stop right there...you are more than enough," he said, edging closer towards me and cautiously taking my hand in his. I slowly sat up, getting closer to him in the process.

He looked so earnest. I wanted to believe his words so badly. But my past, it would never leave me alone. Even now it was rearing it's ugly head..feeding my insecurities.

"Stop thinking so much Angel," He said. I slowly nodded and closed my eyes. What's the worst that could happen. I was already broken, it's not like I had anything to lose. Didn't I deserve some semblance of happiness after all I have been through?

Edward was here...offering me everything. In my own terms. Didn't I deserve a chance to be happy. There is no forever in my future, but at least for some time I will get...I selfishly wanted him by me. Till he realized the truth and left.

"Kiss me," I said to him my eyes still closed. I needed to see if this was going to work. If I could kiss him again without losing it...then maybe I could handle this.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"Just kiss me Edward!" I said again. My heart was in my throat. My entire body in high alert. I could feel his breath fanning my face. His lips lingering against mine. Letting me prepare.

And then I felt it. The soft pressure against my lips. His tongue slowly tracing the outline of my upper lip, waiting for permission. I parted my mouth, eager to feel more. And then he was inside, his tongue exploring sensuous and slow. It was a slow burn, something igniting deep inside me. I hesitantly let my tongue explore...my fisted hands slowly coming undone and taking hold of his shirt. And then I felt his own arms snaking around my neck and waist and gasped, but not in fright.

His mouth was more insistent ant now, my desperation adding to his. I felt one of his hands in my hair, slowly tugging it...adjusting my face to suit him better. I kissed him back with abandon now..all my fears and caution in the wind for now.

It was he who broke off...I was reluctant still needing his breath. I slowly opened my eyes, and his eyes made me gasp. They were liquid green, need coursing through it...need for me. And somehow that thought didn't repulse me. The fact that he needed me instead brought a smile to my face.

"Beautiful," he whispered, tugging an errand strand of hair away from my face. My smile got bigger...his kiss still pumping through me.

"Angel...that was...," he began to speak, but I stopped him with a finger to his lips...the ones which were on mine jut moments ago.

"Kiss me again," I whispered. He looked at me for a second and then the crooked smile which I loved made it's appearance. And I was in his arms again, his lips back on mine...making me once again forget everything around except him. This might have just become my favorite thing in the world!


	15. Girlfriend

**EPOV**

"You drew this all?" She said looking about the small room in the back of my apartment that I call my studio.

"It's just something I used to do, nothing major," I said. It's been two days since our midnight confessions and things were going pretty well all things considered. She was giving me a chance.

"Nothing major? Are you kidding me!" She asked, taking a one eighty degree turn to face me.

"You are fucking talented," she said poking my chest. I smiled at the praise. But it didn't really matter...I couldn't remember the last time I had touched a brush. I don't even know why I keep this room anymore.

I slowly pulled her close. She was becoming more comfortable around me...but I was still cautious. The last thing I wanted was to scare her in any way.

Soon, her lips closed around mine and I succeeded in wiping away all thoughts of paintings from that head of hers. We were both panting by the time I pulled back. She whimpered at the loss of contact and it caused my heart to soar. Just like every time in the past two days when she had initiated something between us.

I slowly tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, fingers lingering around her cheeks. Her eyes locked on mine...warm, like chocolates, pulling me into their depths.

And then the doorbell rang, pulling both of away from the moment. Shit. Before I could say or do anything the door opened and James and Tanya walked in. I had forgotten to put on the lock.

"Bro...wanna join us to-," James was saying, but stopped mid sentence at the sight of Isabella still in my arms. Tanya was also giving both of us a really weird look.

"Oops, I think we interrupted something, James," said Tanya.

"What are you both doing here?" I asked as Isabella slowly pulled herself away from me. I wanted to tighten my hold on her. Not let her go. But was afraid if it might have the opposite reaction to that.

"Who is this?" Tanya retorted.

"My girlfriend," I replied before I could even stop myself.

My watched her stiffen a bit out of the corner of my eyes at the term, but it was too late to change anything.

"We already met," James came forward then, a small smile on his face.

"So this is Isabella, I take?" Tanya said.

"Umm...yes, nice to meet you both," She said giving me a quizzical expression. And then I remembered I didn't introduce them to her.

"Shit...sorry, Angel, this is James and that's Tanya, they are my best mates," I hurried with the introductions.

"We go long back," James said putting a hand around my shoulder and giving me a playful shove.

Angel smiled again, but I could see her shyness getting the better of her.

"I was just showing Angel around the place," I said giving the two of them a pointed look. Tanya seemed to get it but James was after my blood.

"Angel?" He asked a saucy smile on his face. God, I really didn't want these two to fuck things up. Me and Angel were walking a thin line already.

"I guess we will see you both later," James said right then and pulled Tanya away. I let out a sigh of relief. I don't think Angle is ready to meet the craziness that surrounded my life. Not yet.

"So that's your friends," She said at last a small smile on her face.

"Yeah...they are crazy but they are nice folks," I said running a hand through my hair.

"Was James one of the guys who was with you that day?" She asked. That day...the day she got almost raped.

"Yes...in fact, if it wasn't for him I might not have found you in time," I replied.

She was silent for a moment. "Remind me to thank him the next time we meet," She said at last.

I nodded and then the realization hit me. She expected to meet my friends again. Does that mean she will be sticking around?

"Are you mad I called you my girlfriend," I asked her. Her back was towards me, her eyes intent on some of my half drawn pictures.

She turned around, "You should have asked me,"she said at last.

"It just slipped out...I am sorry," I said.

"It's okay, you can still ask," she said, that shy smile coming out once again.

"Really? You would be my girlfriend?" I asked, finding it hard to believe that she caved easily.

"Umm...you seem to be pretty adamant about giving us a chance. I don't want any regrets...I guess. If I don't take this chance, if I don't try to be normal for once...I will forever wonder...so I think I should try at least, before giving up," she said, her eyes on the floor.

"You won't regret it," I promise her, not liking the talk of giving up even a bit.

She looked up and smiled, and then slowly moved closer and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. The action was so innocent, showing her level of trust in me. And at that moment I fell a bit more for her. At this rate this woman was going to rule my heart before I knew it.

"Please be gentle with me...I am a bit too fragile," she whispered against my ear. And I slowly wound my arms around her waist, silently vowing to never let her down...and never ever hurt her even with a word.

 ***Thank you for all the thoughtful messages. They meant a lot to me. And thank you for being patient with me. You guys are amazing.**


End file.
